Roger,
I have the following comments on your Revision PAR:
8.1 is for explanatory notes, and should include the section number that you are providing explanation for. The text in 8.1 is a duplicate of section 5.5 which is the appropriate place for that text. I would suggest that the text currently in 8.1 be deleted.
You have used a format of the PAR form that causes extra fields to be present. This also causes you to miss information that should be included. Officer fields while populated by the system, are not shown in your version. Having the myProject provide the PDF version of the draft PAR populates the fields to show that all the information has been collected.
In 5.3, you indicated "YES" but no details are provided. This should include the details of what is the dependent standard.
5.1 In general, having less than 10 people involved in a standard raises questions on the relevance of the standard and the interest being sufficient to warrant the standard. If the interest to participate in creating the standard is truly only 5, it may not be sufficient to warrant the effort.